My Babies Are Growing Up

My work has involved a lot of travel this year. At first I had illusions of continuing to direct the household from a distance but I quickly realized that that was not realistic. So I turned over the list and duties to my husband, crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

Mainly I was worried about the kids. I don't talk about them here a lot for different reasons. They aren't so young that they need mommy all the time, but of course there are certain times and events when I am the one they turn to. Much to my surprise (and maybe just a little dismay), everyone has done fine without me. In fact, the tears I anticipated didn't happen. Maybe we tried too hard to make it seem like an upbeat thing and maybe I've tried too hard to foster self-reliance, lol. They have made more of a fuss before when I've gone to the store without them! They knew they could call me on my phone, text me or e-mail me so I was always reachable, even if I couldn't talk to them immediately. I made sure we spoke at least once a day. I sent them pictures of the hotel room, etc so they could actually "see" where I was. So I did everything I could think of to make it not a disruption in their schedule or a source of worry for them. Clearly my goal was to make my absence easier on them.

Yet for some reason I'm torn between wondering if they "shouldn't" (there's one of those bad words) have missed me a little more and feeling like it was a good thing that life stayed on an even keel for them despite my absence. (Okay, my husband was miserable and admitted it, shockingly enough. I thought he of all people would be leading the party with junk food, staying up late, etc. It's the children I thought might have a problem with it.)

I think I'm going to color it a good thing. They are growing up to be separate individuals and it really was a relief they weren't clingy. My husband remembered to feed them and everyone got to their intended destinations every day. Maybe the house wasn't as clean as I would have liked but it isn't necessarily as clean as I would like even when I am here. So overall this is a good thing. It makes my life a lot easier when they aren't so dependent upon me. It also reminds me that my babies are growing up.