Damn You, Love Me!

**Warning:: Adult language, adult theme**

I've become selfish, a voice whispers.

I want too much, it whispers too.

Who do you think you are?, yet another voice from the past whispers in my head.

Surely you don't think you could possibly deserve love, do you?, yet another hateful voice hisses at me.

"F*** you!", I think intently at the voices. "Shut the f*** up!" I am angry, so angry I could almost yell the words aloud. It doesn't matter how loudly I shout the words, though, it won't silence the voices.

Nothing silences the voices. Nothing.

But you know what reduces their volume? He does. He and the ways he shows me caring and consideration. Even when I don't act as if I am worthy of it, he accords me respect. He makes love to me, even when I urge him to f** me, just use me without regard and get it over with. He kisses me tenderly, even when I encourage him to bite me and hurt me. He shows passion for me yet I know I could break the embrace if I wanted to.

And I love it.

Where I had developed a taste for the pain, now he has me loving the tenderness again. Where before I had grudgingly accepted the usefulness of soulless sex, he has shown me that I don't have to have that.

Damn him.